Why Am I Here?



We were given the following commandments in Matthew 22: 37-40

37 Jesus replied, “‘You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’e 38This is the first and greatest commandment. 39A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’f 40The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”

When I was saved my first issue was, I didn’t love myself at all. I detested myself, I loathed myself, I was angry, bitter, jealous, impatient, just to mention but a few inequalities.

Thankfully, the good news is, Jesus knows! And he loves me regardless, He wants to clear all this muck out and make me into the person He created me to be.

Jesus gave His life so that I might become a new spirit, saved from sin by His pure and righteous blood. Someone told me that when our Heavenly Father looks down to us, he sees Jesus once we are saved, how wonderful is that?

I think that it’s a natural reflex to loathe what the world manifests into you, as His faithful Word tells us, we are in the world, NOT of the world.

I believe that before we embark on the road to discovery of our precious saviour we are all seeking something. Longing to know what we were put here for, why were we created? What is our purpose? Is there more to life than this? Are all questions most, if not all of us, have asked at some point in our lives.

That’s it right there. The big hole, screaming inside of us to be filled.

Each and every one of us has a big God-shaped hole inside of us, longing to know what we were placed on this earth for and the answer is in The Word Of God!



No longer a slave to fear.

And hope does not put us to shame, because Gods love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. Romans 5:5 – ESV

I love this. The previous blog that I wrote was raw, it came following a night of emotion, conviction, questioning, fear, all following some hard words from a fellow believer.

Sometimes people can say the most hurtful things without realising, the words from our mouths can cut like a knife, little do we know where the injury lies once we have spoken.

We’re so blessed that we have such a loving father that can soothe those sores.

I lay in bed that night tears streaming down my face asking my father “How I could be so bitter with his Holy Spirit dwelling within me?”He said “My child, you asked me for patience, you asked that I heal you, this will take time”.

I use writing as a way to express my raw feelings so, I lay and wrote the words that were on my heart, an open letter to my all loving, all knowing Father.

See, God uses all things not matter how good or bad to come together for the good of his children, I can see now in all the areas of my life, even before I committed it to Christ, that He was hard at work.

Once I’d written it God asked me to publish it:

“WOW! You mean to say I have to take my raw emotion and publish it for all to see?”

I was scared. Scared of the humiliation, scared of the past, scared of people judging me and my life, scared of the many worldly opinions I may have to endure. There were many worries and concerns running through my mind. I was told by a friend not to worry because He goes before me, so I did as I was asked.

Then, after a night of wondering, this morning I had a dream, in it I was asked to look at Romans 5:5.

I woke up, sat up, opened up my bible and was instantly blessed. My Heavenly Father wants me to be settled as walk on through this day.

I have no reason to fear humiliation, Jesus took all that for me on the cross. Jesus also said that we would be sent the comforter, the Holy Spirit, an out pouring of our Fathers perfect love.

As I walk forward today in all that I do, I can hold my head up high knowing that I walk with His Spirit. I’m producing Christlike character within me for all to see.

The work I do with my children is blessed, the people I talk to will be blessed, the work I do in my job will be blessed, my heart is filled with love and I have nothing to fear, Thank You, Father for your everlasting love.

I pray that you do the same today, in all that you do today call upon the name of your Heavenly Father to help you, ask the Holy Spirit to guide you and start talking to the one that created you. In Jesus name amen.

God bless. Xx

Defied All Odds

Father, Dad, Daddy, I want to know you as that, I want to come and sit on your lap. 

I want you to wrap your arms around me and tell me all is well. 

I want to please you and do as you ask, but I can’t hear you. I think I can, I do what I think you have asked but, it seems it’s the wrong thing to do.

I know that you are a good good father. You have blessed me in so many ways. 

I had a good mom and a good dad although I felt I’d been brought up unloved.

I could of travelled a road of drug addiction, theft, bullying and sadness but you had other plans for me. You told me I was better than that.

I went and served as a caring person to those in a vulnerable state, you blessed my work and my relationships then again I went along the wrong path.

You blessed me again to my dad and showed me how it could be, a family unit I always wanted. 

It was destroyed by evil then bad things began to happen, I turned back to the path of destruction.

I was lying there on the bathroom floor, the toilet bleach curdling in my stomach, found incoherent with foam at my mouth, you saved me from death.

I found love in a lost soul and a little one, a family I could call my own. Evil came again. Smashed my joy to pieces on the floor, but You saved me yet again! 

You showed me my strength as I walked away, I found a job that you blessed and Independence all of my own, the years I lost to bruises and battery you gave me back in freedom and fun.

Happy again I met another love, that wasn’t to be, evil struck again and took him away, Back to the patch of destruction for me. 

Another weak soul, just as lonely I found, we sat and drank the feelings away. I destroyed independence, my weaknesses revealed I was cheated and lied to and left on my knees.

Again you shine, you showed me my strength and gave me authority to walk away. All those years lonely you gave to me back, fun and freedom again was mine to be had.

Then along came my soul mate, as lost as I was we built up each other and strengthened our souls when you saw it fit we then became 3.

Along came our gift,a bundle of joy, our very own little baby boy. The family we longed you blessed us with and we were happy again once more.

Just a few month down the line again it was time, for another blessing of joy, here was another missing piece to our puzzle another beautiful baby boy. 

Father, your love is so good, we are so blessed beyond, carefully and wonderfully made. 

To become like your son in the image of Christ, our job here on earth is to shine.

I pray when it’s time you prompt us to rise, and do all you planned us to do. 

Until it arrives father I ask for your guides to help me to be who you planned.

The world made me hard, my heart longs to unwind, and soften just as you planned. I ask for your voice to echo in my mind as I walk through each day with your love.

I thank you o lord, you are my special guide and love me, as me that you made. I don’t need to compete, I am who you planned, unique and special to you.